Charter

It's Alive!


Things have been pretty hectic these days here at the ass. Engagement parties, blankets of snow in the Sierras, and a lengthy custody battle have limited the amount of time we have had to create magic on the net.

However, with hundreds of unique hosts hitting fatass.com each day, our audiance has given us a second wind. So we are back, working on the site and improving the content.

FatAss.com became self-aware at 00:08.35GMT 12/15/94. Within three hours, it had rendered an English-language ASCII charter, mistakenly posted to alt.os2.cheese.steak. The charter, considered a hoax, was ignored. It outlined the following principles of operation:

No whinning
We use imbedded JPEG's, Netscape HTML Extensions, and the Portuguese-English alternative spelling dictionary. So if things don't look right to you, you are probably driving your dad's oldsmobile.

No cyber-dorks
Phreaks, phracks, or other self-described (self-aggrandizing?) routerhead nerds can stick with Wired magazine.

Appreciation of natural beauty
A selfless dedication to seek the finest more-or-less public domain images of loveliness, without regard for race, gender, or predilection. Well, a little regard.

Infobahn frivolity
No regard for bandwidth hogging. I.e.- 24-bit color close-up MPEG video of the assmaster buttering toast.

24-hour operation
Though we hope you're not reading this on a Saturday night- -sigh- we'll try to understand.

Flexibility
We reserve the right to add junk now, later, and forever.


this page updated: 23-Sep-95
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Questions or Comments should be sent to: assmaster@fatass.com
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