Pre-Nuptials
Steve "Optimal" Gomer
and Lady Shannon Harem plan to tie the Gordian knot this Fall. Sources close to
the couple confirm anonymous tips that Steve was struck by lightning on
the slopes of a Sun Valley resort immediately prior to the
long-long-long-awaited proposal. Arnold Schwarzenegger is expected to
attend.
"Anderino"
Wallgreen and Lolly "Lol" Winstone are expected to go through with plans to
exchange vows July 15th at the Solar Temple of the Ancient Astronauts
in Palo Alto.
Travis "Dude" Hutch (no relation to Starsky)
has asked Anne Scalappi for her hand in holy matrimony. Rumor has it, the ceremony
will be available in MPEG-2 format on Pay-Per-View, after Travis closed a multi-million
dollar deal with the Japanese.
Dr. Cliff Read and Darlene Mannes (of
the old-money Greenwich Mannes) will default to a common-law marriage
after 7 years of continuous, California co-habitation this Spring. Ms. Mannes
intends to seek immediate annulment from The Pope.
This artist's rendition of the Fatass' current love interest (not drawn
to scale) captures the heart of the
marriage that is his love of bitchin hardware. Each keystroke, each
mouseclick, heightens the yearning and leaves each day sunnier than
the last. Fatass intends to bring his lawsuit demanding legal
recognition of cyber-human marriage before California's Supreme Court
this month. Johnnie Cochran is on retainer.
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